December
31, 2011
Since
is is News Years Eve, I thought it appropriate to look back on the
year and look forward to 2012.
This
year started out bad physically, perhaps because of outside stresses.
Funny how the doctors say to keep stress to a minimum. Hard to do
that with other persons behavior or events beyond our control.
During
the first months of 2011 I felt as bad as any time since I was
diagnosed, and I regret to say It discouraged me. I feel better than
that now, and I am grateful.
I
think the first thing that comes to mind right now upon reflection is
that I still exist and I am grateful for that. Funny how fatalistic
I was when I was first diagnosed in 2003/2004. Not anymore. I am
way more conscious of existing and think about it often and each time
I am grateful.
I
lost my mother 4 years ago and my father last year, and we lost my
sister Susan's husband in November to Pancreatic Cancer. He was only
70 years old and my sister did well, but the funeral was hard.
My
sister Carol and I held my sister Susan by the arms and helped her to
stay upright while she sobbed uncontrollably during parts of the
funeral.
On
December 23rd of this year, we had to put my big orange
tabby male down because of oral cancer. I held him and whispered in
his ear, “I love you Tarantino”, over and over while the doctor
did what she must.
Then
I brought him home and buried him in my back yard. My sweet wife
Lonni had dug the hole for me because I am so puny because of the
Heart Failure.
So
upon reflection with my wife, in the five years we have known each
other, she has seen me bury my mother, my father, my brother in law,
and two of my cats, my two favorite, by the way. I am sure this has
been tough on her as well.
I
had my other hip replaced in the fall, and I am happy to report the
experience was far easier than the first hip replacement. It is no
picnic, mind you, but now I am walking almost normally and it seems a
miracle. I have had this issue with arthritis since 2004.
Looking
into 2012, I may be facing a pacemaker replacement, but we will cross
that bridge when we come to it.
I
am grateful right now to exist after dealing with this disease for so
long, and I wish you all the the very best of health and a very
happy life.
Happy
New Year to you all.
