Well, I go back to the doctor today. This will be my 12th visit so far this calendar year.
What's the point?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Head Rushes and Hot Flashes
I have a new symptom this week. It started on Monday morning. I am getting head rushes many times a day (20 to 30) and hot flashes several times a day. The head rushes feel like mini-versions of when I went into Ventricular Tachycardia in May of this year.
I don't know if I have having atrial fibrillation or what. I am on a business trip now but hope it is okay until I get home and to the doctor on Thursday afternoon.
I don't know if I have having atrial fibrillation or what. I am on a business trip now but hope it is okay until I get home and to the doctor on Thursday afternoon.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Knocking down one's spirit
An interesting aspect of living with Heart Failure is the long-term struggle. Some days the fight is very important, and other days the spirit feels drained. I try to think of all of the others who suffer, many so much worse than those of us with Heart Failure, and then I feel small.
It is good for me to be humbled so. So many others never got a chance to grow up, let alone receive the blessings I have. Still, some days it gets hard, I will admit, and then I have to resolve to put this behind me, be grateful, and focus on others.
It is good for me to be humbled so. So many others never got a chance to grow up, let alone receive the blessings I have. Still, some days it gets hard, I will admit, and then I have to resolve to put this behind me, be grateful, and focus on others.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Best day in a while
Yesterday was my best day in a while. The supplements I have started back taking seem to be starting to work, and my pain is subsiding some, although it is not gone.
My heart failure seems to be stable as well so it seems the broken left lead was the cause my my three episodes with Ventricular Tachycardia (see my posts from May, 2008). I am grateful that is over, at least for now.
I hope that the three surgeries I have had this year are the end of it for at least six months, but one never knows, so it is best if I am just grateful for a good day.
My heart failure seems to be stable as well so it seems the broken left lead was the cause my my three episodes with Ventricular Tachycardia (see my posts from May, 2008). I am grateful that is over, at least for now.
I hope that the three surgeries I have had this year are the end of it for at least six months, but one never knows, so it is best if I am just grateful for a good day.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Pain again this morning
I woke up in pain again this morning. I need to focus on being grateful for my heart failure doing better. Clearly I have some work do do here, because I am feeling some resentment from being in pain so long.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Side Issues
Now that my heart failure has started to stabilize, I have become a bit more active, and I am genuinely grateful for that. Ironically, that has caused the degenerative arthritis in my hips to become more active and now I have not been pain free for over two weeks.
During the last two months, things got very dark, dealing with the near death experiences, the endless tests, the surgery, and the recovery issues. I stopped taking most of my supplements during that time because it seemed like, "what is the point?"
Well now I am paying that price because two of them were very important for staving off the everyday pain from my arthritic hips and my back.
I started back about 10 days ago and perhaps the supplements will kick in soon.
During the last two months, things got very dark, dealing with the near death experiences, the endless tests, the surgery, and the recovery issues. I stopped taking most of my supplements during that time because it seemed like, "what is the point?"
Well now I am paying that price because two of them were very important for staving off the everyday pain from my arthritic hips and my back.
I started back about 10 days ago and perhaps the supplements will kick in soon.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Good Days and Bad Days
One of the things most all people with heart failure will tell you is that we have good days and bad days. Our good days don't begin to approach what good days were like before heart failure, (see the post entitled "Lead Blanket"), but everything is relative, of course.
Yesterday was a bad day. I felt extra weak all day long, I felt dizzy, my legs felt like they were draining when I stood up, and I had trouble concentrating. I could hardly wait for the day to end in hopes of a better day the next.
Turns out today is better than yesterday, and I am grateful.
Yesterday was a bad day. I felt extra weak all day long, I felt dizzy, my legs felt like they were draining when I stood up, and I had trouble concentrating. I could hardly wait for the day to end in hopes of a better day the next.
Turns out today is better than yesterday, and I am grateful.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Fourth Anniversay Today
It has been right at two months since my last post so I thought it was high time to get back at it. This is the fourth anniversary of going into the hospital and being diagnosed with acute heart failure. Back then my lungs were filling with fluid, my kidneys were failing, and my ejection fraction was 12%.
Since then I have been to the doctor innumerable times, I have three cardiologists, and I have degenerative arthritis in both of my hips. I am feeling both lucky, because my children are mostly well, and I have a wonderful partner who is very supportive, but at another level, I sometimes feel resentful, I admit.
To pick up the story from my last post, since I got home from Paris, it has been a whirlwind of doctor's visits and tests, and then I had my 3rd surgery this year on June 4th to replace my broken left lead. They told me they were not sure this was causing me to go into Ventricular Fibrillation, but they needed to fix this and see what happens.
The surgery went okay, it lasted three hours and this one had more pain than the prior three pacemaker surgeries. I found out the probable cause a few days later that the doctor moved my pacemaker as well as replaced the lead. It seems to be implanted in the muscle now where before it was not.
After a few weeks, I seem to be stable and I am grateful for that. I have started exercising just a bit, as I want to try to build back up the best I can to prepare myself for the next time something happens.
I woke up feeling irritated today and I could not put my finger on it, but perhaps it was an unconscious reaction to my forth anniversary of dealing with CHF. Life goes on, so I need to go back to work now.
Since then I have been to the doctor innumerable times, I have three cardiologists, and I have degenerative arthritis in both of my hips. I am feeling both lucky, because my children are mostly well, and I have a wonderful partner who is very supportive, but at another level, I sometimes feel resentful, I admit.
To pick up the story from my last post, since I got home from Paris, it has been a whirlwind of doctor's visits and tests, and then I had my 3rd surgery this year on June 4th to replace my broken left lead. They told me they were not sure this was causing me to go into Ventricular Fibrillation, but they needed to fix this and see what happens.
The surgery went okay, it lasted three hours and this one had more pain than the prior three pacemaker surgeries. I found out the probable cause a few days later that the doctor moved my pacemaker as well as replaced the lead. It seems to be implanted in the muscle now where before it was not.
After a few weeks, I seem to be stable and I am grateful for that. I have started exercising just a bit, as I want to try to build back up the best I can to prepare myself for the next time something happens.
I woke up feeling irritated today and I could not put my finger on it, but perhaps it was an unconscious reaction to my forth anniversary of dealing with CHF. Life goes on, so I need to go back to work now.
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