I had an appointment with my heart failure specialist yesterday. I moved up my planned December appointment
because I have been doing badly and my wife was worried. The last appointment was May 3 of this year
when he told me that I was “optimally treated” and that this was as good as it
gets.
That was a heart breaking thing to hear so I did not blog on
it as most of my blogs are depressing, for which I apologize. I will
try to start blogging when I am doing well, moving forward.
Anyway this time the echo I had earlier this week showed a
slight improvement in my ejection fraction, up to 35% from the previous 30% it
has been for a couple of years now. So
at the cognitive level, that of course is a good thing and perhaps because I
have been more diligent in taking my evening meds. I have an alarm on my phone, but as I get
into the evening, it seems I am less diligent so I started taking them at 6 PM
instead of 8 PM.
The thing is, I feel terrible all the time. My long standing leg pain has gotten worse,
it seems, so I am having trouble understanding this.
It seems the people on the Yahoo Heart Failure list I am on are
doing awful and I feel so badly for them.
So I have been thinking lately that it comes down to the
fight is what is important, something I told myself when I got this disease
when I vowed to fight this and die well so my children would see a good example
for a change instead of all the bad ones I have set over the years.
Nest time I will try to blog hopeful stuff.
